And Then There Were 3

Yep you read that right. And then there were 3... WE'RE PREGNANT!!!! We truly got the BEST Christmas present this year!

It still seems crazy to type that and to say it out loud but Scott and I couldn't be any more excited to grow our family by two little feet and one little heart. Both of us have wanted to be parents as long as we can remember and this is such a blessing to our family.

Baby Slusser is due August 9th, 2015 which puts as at 13 weeks! Earlier this week we got to hear baby's heartbeat through the Doppler machine and it was pumping away at 160bpm. I swear that had to be the best sound I have ever heard. We even recorded it so we can listen whenever we want to! ;)

We will get to find out the gender on March 18th but we will wait to be surprised with our family at a gender reveal party soon after. As you cab guess, there are already bets going around on what Baby Slusser. My Dad swears it's a girl, Scott's Mom is putting her money on a boy, I have a feeling it's a girl and a few other family members are saying boy. Gunnar would prefer a boy and said that if it's a girl his Mommy will have to hold baby but if it's a boy he will hold him and share his toys.

While I thought I would have a preference (and maybe I will as we get further along), I just want a healthy baby no matter what gender!

So now the fun begins, we're officially out of the first trimester and have already started reading books, blogs, websites and magazines galore. There is more information out there than we'll ever be able to read but I want to soak it all in and make sure that I know the big "must know" items before baby comes. If you have a favorite Mommy or new parent blog please comment below, I'm always looking for the best ones to read!

I'm excited for all that is still to come but also nervous for parenthood because I still haven't found the guide or "how to". Everyone says you "figure it out" but if you know me you know I like to prepare and plan so that's hard to accepts. Luckily I had great parents and have great in-laws so we should be ready no matter what!

Here's a few more pictures my Mom took for us, thanks Mom!!!

Five Years

Grandma let my Mom and Aunts do her hair crazy during one of her many stays at the hospital.

Five whole years. It has been five years, or 1,826 days, or 43,824 hours since we last saw each other. Five years of milestone events. Five years of small moments I wish I could share. Five years without driving to your house for Thursday night gatherings. Five years holidays without you. Five years of not being able to call and hear your voice or see how you're doing today. We've welcomed a couple of new babies, I've gotten married, started a new career, we've all grown older and most of us have grown wiser and I can't help but think you've missed it. Or have you?

Perhaps you've missed it in person, but saw it coming all along. Perhaps you knew well before we all did, that Gunnar would be born two years after your passing as a way to help us make this day not just one of sadness but also one of celebration. Perhaps you knew all along that I would meet the man of my dreams and while I was bummed you didn't get to meet him, I think you knew about him well before I did.

To say you are missed wouldn't do it justice. "Missing" you just doesn't seem like enough for how much my heart hurts thinking about you, wishing I could share exciting news with you, wishing we could have ice cream together, wishing I could have your soup again, or wishing I could ask you for advice because you always had the best wisdom to share. You were our family core, our rock and my best friend so it wasn't easy saying goodbye and it's not easy realizing you've been gone five entire years.

Some days it feels like a lifetime and sometimes I remember the week of your passing like it was yesterday. To be expected, we're all "missing" you a bit more than usual today. Hope you're celebrating up there with Grandpa and proud of us for holding it together another year.