It's Been Too Long...Project 365

It really has. I mean seriously if I didn't know better I wouldn't have thought I've ever blogged at all. But truth be told, I sort of miss it! It's a fun way to express myself and share our family adventures, stories and more. SO I'm going to try and make 2017 the year of blogging, starting now!

The holidays are such a special time and have always been my personal favorite. I'm actually quite bummed that I wasn't better about blogging last year, it would be fun to look back on Grace's first year of life. But hey, stuff happens right?!

So to kick start this effort to blog more I'm going to join my friend Megan in Project 365. An effort to take more and better pictures using my fancy camera I got last year but forget to take out. I've been honing in on my skills using the manual setting and they say practice makes perfect so this will be a good way. This isn't only to become a better photographer, but to capture the every day moments in the life of the Slusser family (or mostly Gracie) that I know I'll miss or forget about as she grows up.

Lets just be really clear for a second... This definitely doesn't mean that I'm ready to ditch the professionals for family photos and other major life events. That's just crazy, because lets face it, I'll never be able to get those precious newborn shots like this:

BUT I do want to be able to capture better everyday moments so I can cherish those, along with the professional photos my family has taken. So starting January 1st, I'm going to attempt to take one photo every day with my camera. I'll try to post them nightly, but we all know how life is and sometimes that just isn't possible, so if anything I'll do weekly/monthly recaps when life gets crazy. I'd love to hear any tips you have or if you can see through photos how I can get better. One thing I've definitely learned is that when there isn't great lighting and you have to turn your ISO up too much, your pictures get grainy. Learned that the hard way!

So anyway, here's a few I've shot over the last few weeks while playing around with manual mode:

Time is Fleeting: 35 Things I don't Want to Forget About the First 8 Months

Everyone says your life changes when you have a baby, and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't true. It does change, but in our case it has changed for the better. When Grace was born, we both filled a hole in our hearts we didn't know was there. What has changed the most in life is the concept of time. From the moment you discover you're pregnant you begin counting time in weeks and months. It's almost as if you stop counting days but just skip right to weeks.

Then just like that 40 (give or take a couple) weeks goes by and you're now counting days for the first week or so, then you start counting weeks and months. And you quickly realize how fleeting the quiet moments of each day are, and how fast time goes by. Everyone you know and even the random people in the grocery store will tell you how fast time goes, but you don't truly realize just how fast until you're staring at your EIGHT MONTH OLD asleep in her crib.

The days are long and the years are short. And those first few weeks at home were some of the hardest yet most wonderful of my life, and they literally flew by. I just don't know how we got here so quickly, how I'm already planning our daughters first birthday or how we've already started putting toys away that Grace is "too big for."

Because I already feel like I've forgotten parts of the first few weeks and months, I'm making a list of the things about Grace I don't want to forget. Before I know it she'll be 1, then 2, then 10. So here goes.

I don't want to forget:
- When you first came home and hardly opened your right eye so I called you "one eyed willy" for a couple of weeks. 
- How seeing you with your Daddy made me love him even more. 
- The way you stare at your Daddy in awe and light up every time you see him walk into the room
- Your big belly laugh when we play peek-a-boo.
- The giant smile you get whenever you see your Grandma and Papa
- The way you can hardly contain your excitement sometimes and have to burrow into my arms.
- The way you look at your cousins and how much you already love them.
- Your sweet demeanor.
- How you can make a complete stranger smile. 
- How much joy your Grandparents had the moment they first held you, and still have every time they see you. 
- How much you've taught me about patience.
- The way you cuddle in close when I need it the most.
- How you shake when you see your bottle in the morning, as if you haven't seen one in days.
- Your love for avocado.
- How much you already love books and get so excited to read before bed.
- How skinny your feet are - I swear you’re never going to fit in shoes!
- How long it took you to finally roll over and how much we can’t stop you now.
- How proud of yourself you are each time you figure out something new.
- Your smile in the morning when we get you out of your crib.
- The way you talk and coo in your crib before naps and bedtime.
- How small you were the first time we put in you in the sink for a bath.
- How much you love the color red.
- The grunting noise you make when you're frustrated.
- Your big smiles and endless talking in swim class. 
- How you laugh when Lucy gives you kisses.
- How you had zero interest in holding your bottle until you were about 7 months old. 
- How singing "When The Saints Go Marching In" can calm you down within seconds.
- How most mornings we chase Lucy around the kitchen and you laugh so hard.
- How you already want to be independent but also want to be close to the action.
- How much you LOVE sleeping in your crib (even if that means refusing a nap anywhere else).
- Your leg rolls and arm chubs. 
- The way you stretch you're entire body every morning and let out a giant yawn. 
- How you kick your legs at night until you fall asleep, it's even earned you the nickname "Thumper."
- How fast you went from barely crawling to racing around the house.
- How I think I couldn't possibly love you more and then you smile at me or giggle and my heart grows in size. 

Some nights I wish I could just hit pause, so on those nights I hold you a little tighter and rock you to sleep. Some days I wish I could have a few more "newborn cuddles" but then I start to see your personality shine through and I realize how fun it is to watch you grow. Everything seems to be going so fast and I know the time of you needing your Momma will come and go, so for now I'm promising my self to enjoy the little moments because they quickly become the big moments.

Grace's Birth Story

Well I was hoping I'd get this published long before now, but what can I say... Life is crazy with a newborn, but crazy in the most beautiful way. It's hard to believe our amazing Grace is already 2 months old. Time is going by WAY too fast. While she peacefully naps in her swing (the greatest invention known to man a.k.a all parents) I thought I'd finally share her birth story. I'll try to keep this as short as possible and spare all of the tiny details...

Thursday August 6th (3 days before my due date) was a day like any other. I worked, then that evening I went with my Mom and sister-in-law to visit my Aunt Teresa's house. We were visiting while my Mom and Aunt were coloring their hair I started getting cramps that would come and go randomly. During one my Mom looked at me and asked what was wrong, then said "oh sis you're having contractions, I bet things are starting. You may want to start timing them". I told my Mom they are no where near regular so I wouldn't need to time them just yet. Well, after about 25 minutes I already noticed them getting closer and closer together so decided to download a handy app on my iPhone (thank goodness for technology) and started tracking.

About 7:30pm I texted Scottie who was at home to let him know I thought things might actually be starting but that I wasn't going to get my hopes up. Contractions at this point were about 7-10 minutes apart, lasting 30-45 seconds which wasn't even close to the 5-1-1 rule we learned about in our birthing class (5 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour).

Another hour goes by and by this point the contractions are starting to get more and more intense and closer together. NOTE for any soon to be Momma's out there, I remember being in your shoes and wondering how I'd know if I was having contractions. Trust me, YOU KNOW and when the most painful part of the contraction starts lasting longer than the beginning and end you definitely start to realize things are really happening.

At this point contractions were about 45-90 seconds long and about 6-8 minutes apart so I decided it was time to go home but because of their intensity my Mom drove me home just to be safe. I won't ever forget that car ride... Mom was so giddy with excitement, but also anxious and nervous and I could tell she couldn't get me home fast enough. I remember holding her hand at one point and she telling me "this is it Messy (Mom's nickname for me), I promise this is it".

Once I got home we texted the doctor to let him know we thought things were starting. He told us to go in once they become more intense and to "make sure baby is moving well". I decided to do what I've read on every blog and mom-to-be article and shower, finalize our hospital bags, eat something and just lay down for a bit to see how things progress. After finishing all of that it was about 10:15pm and I kept replaying the doctor's text message- "make sure baby is moving well", and thinking to myself "I've never done this, what does 'well' mean?"

Scott and I decided it was better to be safe than sorry and headed to the hospital. Here I am that night, excited, anxious, terrified and a million other emotions.

I still can't believe I had 7lb 12 oz baby in my belly!

We walked out of house and I remember telling Scott that the next time we come home, we may have our baby and life will never be the same. On the way to the hospital we talked about what was coming, how excited we were and how crazy it was that everything was finally happening. It felt like it took forever to get here, but then suddenly we were in labor! Scott was calm the entire time and the whole drive, he helped me stay relaxed which was just what I needed.

About 11:00pm we arrived at the hospital and were checked into the Labor & Delivery triage by about 11:30pm. When the nurse checked me I was at 3cm and 85% effaced. The hospital doesn't check families in until they're in "active labor" which is usually 5cm dilated or more, so the nurse asked us to go walk around for an hour and see how much things progress.

We walked, and walked and walked some more which if you haven't been through labor before let me tell you that it looks much different than what you see in the movies (duh). Walking doesn't make the contractions feel better like those movie makers portray it. In fact you walk at probably the slowest pace you ever have and every few feet you double over and breath like you've been practicing (trust me, you really should practice).

Here's where your partner comes in. My hubby was seriously the best labor partner I could've asked for. He constantly reminded me to breath (which paid off in the end), rubbed my back and shoulders (unless during certain contractions it didn't feel good at which point I promptly told him and he stopped), got me ice chips, and reminded me that I CAN do this, in moments when I didn't think it would be possible.

After an hour of walking I was only at a 4 but 90% effaced. Talk about being disappointed. At this point contractions were really really intense, lasted what felt like forever and were happening every 2-3 minutes or even closer together. The nurse told us we'd have to walk for 20-30 more minutes and see if we could get my body to progress a little bit more. I remember looking over at Scott once she left the room and nearly crying because I was terrified to have to go back home. The pain of labor is intense and I told him if this wasn't "active labor" I was terrified for what was.

Well that 20-30 minutes turned into another hour, but it did the trick and I was finally a 5! The nurse called our doc and started the process to get us "admitted" to Labor & Delivery. About 2:00am we were being moved I told our nurse I wanted an epidural as soon as they could give it to me. I was ready for relief and some sleep.

After many struggles with an IV, a long wait for someone from IV therapy to come give it a try and finally have success,  I got an epidural around 5am. At this point I was 7cm so I still had a ways to go but I was progressing very well. The secret here ladies is to BREATH. Go to yoga, learn how to take deep, cleansing breaths. Pay attention to those silly breathing exercises they do in your birthing class. IT WORKS! I focused all of the energy I had during each contraction on breathing through and trying not to clench or tense up. Your body needs you to relax and let things "happen" so to speak. The more you tense up and clench the less progress you'll make, ultimately extending labor.

At this point my Mom and Dad had arrived and were great company. No one loves you like your Mom does and while your husband will be your best support, he doesn't understand the pain you're going through so it's nice to have someone there who does. For the next 3 hours we got some rest, but we mostly talked about how excited we were to FINALLY meet Grace!

Our doctor came in at 8am to check my progress and break my water. I was still at a 7 but once he broke my water things really moved along and by 10am I was ready to start pushing! Something else to keep in mind is that once you make it through labor, you may get a little scared about actually pushing your baby out. I started to get worried about the whole process because I know it can be stressful for baby and there can be complications once you start the final birth process. We were lucky to have the BEST nurse we could've ever imagined and she helped alleviate my fears and reminded me that I'd be meeting my baby girl in no time.

Pushing (for me) wasn't as intense as I anticipated it being, but the pressure is definitely like nothing you can imagine. You can literally feel your baby making it's way down the birth canal and while it sounds bazaar, it is an incredible experience. Scott and my Mom encouraged me with every push to keep going and that I was getting even closer to seeing our girl. My sister-in-law was a leg holding, counting champ and counted backwards from 10 with every push. Apparently they don't really count anymore, but I am someone who can power through things if I know the end is near so it worked great for me.

I pushed for a total of 60 minutes (15 of which were mini pushes as we waited for the doctor to arrive) and that's all it took! At 12:29pm on August 7th, 2015 our lives changed forever.

The moment the doctor held Grace up and put her on my chest was one I will NEVER forget. Having a baby is truly love at first sight! I was so proud of myself and of Scott for creating this beautiful and perfect little baby who not only made pregnancy easy on me, but also made labor pretty easy (from other experiences I've heard).

The next couple of hours were a whirlwind. Grace spent an hour on me and then our Nurse took her over to weigh her, get her foot prints, give her a quick check up and then brought her back to me. Eventually we made our way to the post-partum floor where we spent the rest of our time at the hospital.

I'll never forget the moment Scottie held our baby girl for the first time. Seeing him with her made me fall more in love with him than I ever thought possible. Together we created new life and together we brought her into the world. I couldn't have done any part of this journey without him and I'm thankful we get to experience parenthood together.

Family is so important to Scottie and I so we were excited to introduce Grace to her new family. We had lots of visitors and got to watch as they all fell in love with our little one. Grace is blessed to be in a family like ours, who already loves her more than she'll ever know!

Grandma meeting her first Granddaughter

Between visitors and during the wee hours of the night, I couldn't help but just sit and stare at her. I couldn't believe that we actually created someone so beautiful and perfect. Pregnancy and childbirth is truly a miracle and something I am lucky to have gotten to experience. I'm so thankful Grace picked me to be her Mom!

When Grace was born her temperature was 100.4 and the following day she was still at 99.8 so the pediatrician had us stay an extra day in the hospital just to be sure everything was alright. She passed all of the tests, screenings and exams with flying colors and finally on Sunday August 9th (my actual due date) we were discharged and on our way home! We enjoyed our time in the hospital but we were MORE than ready to be home and start our lives together as a family of three. As you can see in the picture below, she wasn't as excited as we were. Once we got her in the car she fell fast asleep! :)

I'm excited to be back to my blog and to use this to help capture some of our moments as a family of three. Soon I'll be posting about my new-momma favorites!